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A satire
By Celebrity Trollop | June 16, 2006
Willow and Nala had been on the run for weeks from the imperial forces of the mighty Queen of the Grey Throne. Finally, the Queen’s winged monkeys had caught them traversing a field of trecherous magical poppies which put them to sleep. Trussed and chained for a week in the Queen’s lifeless, poorly textured dungeon they were held in the lavender top and Ruth jeans every newbie inherited when she rezzed for the first time. They had suffered hell.
Finally, the two were brought before her Haughty Majesty. “Fatpack WORMS! L’etat, c’est moi!” she bellowed at them. “How dare you lag my precioussss framerate with your rude arrogance! Are you not aware how idiotic your barbie headed desire for multiple colors of prim hair and clothing seems to sensible people — like, for example, moi?”
A pause came over the Queen, one finger touching her lip pensively. “Actually,” she mumbled to an unseen aide-de-camp, “come to think of it, pretty much only me cares… But NO MATTER!” Her delicate foot, clad in a bejeweled system shoe, hit the pixel floor without a sound. But her voice told all. It ascended and descended in a rapid staccato cadence, touched with little hints there and here of unbalanced spittle-flecked madness.
Suddenly, the Queen’s nose twitched. Her expression grew twisted — and fearful. Willow wore a sly grin. Cunningly concealed within Willow’s prim hair was a FATPACK of epic proportion — the Mother FATPACK of all FATPACKS — as had been foretold in the prophecy of yore. As the fate-laden unpacking counter inexorably ticked up to 100, the shadow of the Queen shrank back. She seemed much smaller now, her form seemingly more and more translucent, incorporeal as every frame was rendered and displayed.
With a clatter, the unpacking had finished — a riot of color, texture and prim shape exploded in the grey walled throne room, and the faint whiff of brimstone wafted ever so gently across the room, until it too, was gone. As if it never was.
“Where’d she go?” Nala asked in amazement. Nonchalantly, Willow shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care. Wanna see what’s new at Dazzle?” Nala nodded, “Nice hair, by the way.” “Yeah,” Willow agreed, with an answering nod. “I have it in 200 colors.”
Topics: Odds 'n' Ends |
OMG, that was CLASSIC! *continues to laugh*
Posted by: Trinity Serpentine on June 16th, 2006 at 11:20 amHAAAAAAAHAHHAAHAHAHHA
OMG ty SO much for the laugh, I SO needed it today and i’m a star YAY :P
Posted by: Willow on June 16th, 2006 at 11:26 amBwahahaha…what upacking thing is that you speak of? o.O
Posted by: Elika on June 16th, 2006 at 12:28 pmBRA-effing-VO! That was beautiful. XD
Posted by: Iris Ophelia on June 16th, 2006 at 12:38 pmBravo!…that was great!…LOL
Posted by: Kaiti on June 16th, 2006 at 3:17 pm